singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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