A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
