forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
pray to the hookup gods
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
