i don't like sucking hair
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
