I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
