This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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