I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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