I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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