All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
