so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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