so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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