I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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