I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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