Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
