You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
