Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
