Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
