I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
