Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
