So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
