is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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