So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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