weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
