she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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