whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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