Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
