He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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