I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
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At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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