Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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