I don't usually arrange sex via text message
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize