I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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