its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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