I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
