Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
