i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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