I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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