I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
