Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"