Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.