Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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