We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?