the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm passing your future prison.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
