Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
