I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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