I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
