Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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