I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize