What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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