So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
