i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
