I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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