There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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