She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
