is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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