We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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