ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
