chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
