thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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