one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
