At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wanna go halves on a baby?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
