Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize