You made me cry and you don't even care
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
