You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
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Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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