ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
