so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
