that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
