Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
