some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
