Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
