life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
