I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Still dying that you shit outside
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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