Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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